Did you know?
Salina Area United
Way
P.O. Box 355
Salina, KS 67402-0355
(785) 827-1312
Archived Success Stories
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Nurturing Children
& Youth
Few things seem to infuriate parents more than
lying to them. When little Johnny stands with crayons behind his back
saying, "I didn't do it, Suzie colored on the wall," it may be very hard
for a parent to keep composed. The big "Why did he lie to me" question
instantly formulates in the mind. While the question is easily asked,
comint to an understanding of why a child lies may call for some honesty
and realistic expectations from the parent. Parents may be helped by
considering the following:
1. What happens when my child tells me the truth?
Johnny knows that he is in trouble. As astute parent seeing
the crayons in hand and knowing the tendency toward self-defense will want
to steer a cours that will discourage practicing lies and gets right to
the issue at hand. "Johnny I see you have been coloring on the wall..."
offers a more direct and less confusing path for dealing with misbehavior
without triggering a lie.
2. What is the child trying to accomplish with
the lie? In a lie there may be some valuable information about the
fears and hopes your child is experiencing. Johnny may be blaming Suzie
because he fears he is not as loved and cannot risk disappointing his parents.
In some cases, lies represent a child's wish or fantasy for something to
be, which is obviously not the case. Johnny may claim that he scored
15 runs in the baseball game. Such a lie is a wish that a parent can
explore calmly and can lead to further self-understanding by the child.
3. How did I fit inot this picture? Johnny
may say "I hate Suzie, she is mean to me all the time." When mom or
dad responds "Don't say that, you know you love Suzie, go tell her that
you are sorry for trying to blame her for what you did and you won't do
it again." Whild well-intentioned may actually be allowing Johnny
to rehearse a new set of lies.
| Information
provided by Veridian Behavioral Health, (785) 823-3654 |
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Salina Area United Way...
Improves Lives and Strengthens the Community through Leadership, Partnership, and Investment!
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